Being Predictable? Out. Meddling in the Lives of Strangers? In.

“We all make choices every day, and you can choose to make this a great day. We hope that you do.” That’s what I’d say over the loudspeaker every morning at Mill Valley Middle School, back when I read the daily announcements. Picturing my voice hanging in the halls planted a sense of agency in me — one I’ve brought to each step along the way. 

Now, with 2025 already in motion, I’m thinking about what stays, what goes and what needs to be imagined. A year is similar to its own little culture, and these are the choices that will shape it. Here’s what I’m tracking: the ins and outs. 

What’s In

Stationary, Postcards, Stickers, Newspaper Clippings and Sending Letters in the Mail 

The digital age is aching for something real, something human. Partiful is fun and licking envelopes is weird, but it’s time to embrace the charm of old-school communication. Handwriting is important. Your words are better at communicating when you take the time to write them out — making them look and feel beautiful.

Feeling Happy via Doing What Makes Someone Else Feel Happy with Them 

Sure, you’d rather pick up Gordo’s. It’s been calling your name all day, and you’re about to order for pickup, but your friend wants you to go with her to this Thai place in San Francisco. She’s hoping it might fill the hole in her heart left by Berkeley Thai House closing. So you go. You try the new spot. And somehow, it turns out to be better than the burrito, which you didn’t think was possible.

There’s a lot of joy that can be derived from spending time in the way someone else wants to — in stepping outside your own routine and into theirs. It shakes you open to new experiences and deepens your connections too.

Eye Cream 

Maybe I can make it to class, yoga, the library and the party. Maybe nothing has to give. Maybe all I need is a little finger-full of that magic white goop to smear under my eyes, and poof — suddenly I’m refreshed, glowing and ready to keep rushing through life like a kite caught in a gust of wind, tugging at its string.

Noticing Birds More 

It’s a simple joy. Look up. 

Aggressively Pushing People (Strangers in Bars) to Figure out their Divine Path

At Santa Con 2023, I met a guy named AJ at a bar. We got to talking, and I learned that AJ spent his days working with special education students and his nights watching live music. By the time our conversation wound down, he was drafting emails to his supervisors, asking to twist together the two things he loved most: to teach music to neurodivergent kids. Who knows what came of it, but I walked away feeling as if I’d nudged — with my questions asked and suggestions made — the world a little bit closer to the way it’s supposed to be. 

Drink a couple beers and get in someone’s head. They say the flap of a butterfly’s wings can cause a hurricane, but maybe all it takes is one conversation in a bar.

What’s Out

Being Predictable

Sure, you could put on your slippers, walk to Wurster Hall, snack on frozen chocolate-covered bananas from Trader Joe’s and crank out another five-page analytical essay. But don’t you want to spice things up? Put on lip liner. Start an off-brand hobby. Write in pencil, not pen. Say that brutally honest thing about a celebrity you secretly can’t stand. Kiss someone you barely know on a Thursday night. Keep them on their toes. 

Detergent Pods 

They might as well be those little flossers they hand out at the dentist to kids. Cute, sure, but you’re an adult now, sort of — you can pour your own detergent.

Letting People Kill Bugs 

Stop biting your tongue, babe. If it feels wrong, don’t just sit there. Open a window. Suggest the cup method. Don’t let someone crush something small and defenseless right in front of you while you look the other way. 

Texting while Walking, Walking too Fast or Sweating while Walking 

I know you think you’re invincible — music pounding in your ears, the beat sliding into your steps as you strut down Berkeley streets. But the sweat’s starting to bead, little dots collecting on your upper lip. Keep moving like this and you’ll have to pull over soon, peeling your green corduroy jacket off in the middle of the sidewalk, looking like an idiot. Turn the volume down, stop with the group chat and just get to where you’re going. 

The light’s breaking through the trees, and the wind’s carrying trash across the pavement. A leaf falls slowly and easily. A lucky penny sits, waiting and ready. You won’t see if you keep rushing.

Will 2025 be the year I finally figure out what I’m doing with my life? Maybe. But who cares if the answer still feels elusive. The real joy is embracing the little things like putting a Post-it on someone’s laptop or walking slowly enough to notice the big crow — the one that doesn’t shut up, flying through all of that blue.  

So cheers to the new year: fewer detergent pods, fewer cliches and more of the things that really matter — more intentional choices, more real connections and a lot more scoops of eye cream.